7/6/09

A few miscellaneous thoughts today...

Republicans - If I hear you warn Americans about the tyranny of the Democratic supermajority again, I'm going to laugh again. You're out there crying wolf, warning the American people that Republicans won't be able to stop liberal legislation, but you're forgetting that this was not accomplish by coup, but rather because the American people CHOSE it. Your decline into nearly total irrelevance and impotence was not an accident. Here's what happened: 

• You were in charge. 
• You sucked at your jobs. 
• You drove America to its knees (literally in the cases of Ensign and Sanford). 
• Americans decided they'd had enough.
• Elections took place. 
• Democrats are in charge.

So while you think this is a "problem," the rest of us think this is pretty fucking sweet. Oh, sure...the teabaggers are all upset about some things that apparently just started to bug them around January 21st of this year, but most Americans seem to be generally a-okay with the fact that you're not allowed to break shit anymore. Have the Democrats fixed the world in the five months since you got done treating it like Bernie Madoff's rectum in the shower at Rikers? No...they haven't. And I'm sure you feel like geniuses pointing that out, but you also look like total douchebags. You got yourselves - and all of us - into this clusterfuck, so we don't want to hear you bitching and moaning. "The Democrats won't listen to our ideaaaaas!" :( Fuck you. Your ideas suck more dick than Larry Craig and Mark Foley combined. When you're ready to act like grownups, maybe we can all have a big congressional circle jerk and start to work our way back to a more balanced, two-party system. Until then, bend over assholes.

Sarah Palin - You will never be President of the United States. I promise you that. I don't care what the reasons were for your bizarre little press conference. Perhaps it's some sort of super secret Eskimo political trick or maybe - fingers crossed - you're dying of an extremely slow and painful form of twat disease that can only be contracted during sex with a man who has fucked a moose and are too embarrassed to admit it. But if any part of your being harbors any illusion that you will one day be handed the keys to the oval office, let me repeat myself: You will NEVER be President of the United States. You are an arrogant, insane, and incredibly stupid woman and I firmly believe that We, the People, have learned our lesson with regards to electing arrogant, insane, and incredibly stupid people to that office. Perhaps our collective short-term memory will allow Trig to run one day in the distant future, but you certainly won't be around to see us forget George W. Bush, thanks to the miracle of life expectancy. So have fun running around the continental U.S. feeling like a superstar in the backwater regions of Georgia, South Carolina, Kentucky, and Alabama. Yes...they love you down there. They love you, the confederate flag, guns, trucks, and cousin-fuckin'. Such classy company you keep. The rest of us are through with you. 

Comments

[Melody]

This is pretty fucking funny.

[Alex]

You couldve not said it any better. I completely agree with your statements. Republicans act as the USA is two country's and as if what they do is so much better then what democrats do. I really hope some of the smarter republicans found a new party that distances itself from the WAY TO Conservative views of the Grand Ole Party. I mean come on republicans catch up its not 1899 its 2009