A Lesson in Airport Baggage Carousel Etiquette:
First of all, you are not the only person who wants to collect your bags quickly and get the hell home, to the bar, or to your Argentine mistress. Everyone has somewhere to be, whether its an important meeting or a date with internet porn and a tube of Jergens. Fortunately for all of us, the airport baggage carousel is brilliantly designed in such a way that courtesy and common-sense are not mutually exclusive with your objective of exiting the airport in a timely fashion (assuming your bags are not lost).
The current modus operandi apparently dictates that everyone should descend upon the carousel as if it were the last virgin in a whorehouse, shoulder-to-shoulder, toes touching the metal, bent over at varying degrees, waiting to snatch your bag (or bag your snatch, in the case of the virgin), swing it painfully into the crotch of the person waiting next to you, and then jostling through the three-deep crowd that wasn't fortunate enough to get a first row position, displaying a not-so-subtle smirk as you flee the scene.
This could all be avoided if everyone would take advantage of the ample space that has been provided around the baggage carousel, leaving approximately 8-10 feet between yourself and the passing luggage. Due to the laws of geometry, the circumference of that rounded formation will grow as the surrounding baggage-seekers back away from it, allowing more of them a position from which to inspect the passing valises. When you spot yours, calmly step up to the carousel, check the tag, luxuriate in the wide expanse you will have in which to remove your bag, place it on the floor, and wheel it to an exit point in the crowd.
Thank you.
Comments